Even the smallest boo-boo breaks our hearts

August 18, 2010

We are no strangers to various ailments. Surgery at 2 weeks old, Hydronephrosis (though we are down to only visiting the hospital once a year for this!), Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease, and more, but even the smallest thing makes us worry, wonder what we’ve done wrong, how we could have prevented it…

We are going in to North Shore Children’s Hospital tomorrow morning to have a lump on Alex’s leg viewed through ultrasound to see what is causing it and to determine the next steps.

Why didnt I have it checked sooner? What if it’s something serious? The doctor said not to worry, she doesnt think its anything dangerous. Do I believe her?

Finally after starting to get the hang of this mommy thing after four years, I can shake myself out of it and say.. “What the heck.. *I* didn’t cause this, *I* would never knowingly cause harm to my child. Where the heck does all this blame come from?

I will stand with him tomorrow through this minor procedure, I will hold his hand, and I will love him with all my heart and he will be fine.

But moms and dads, we have to stop with the “what-ifs” and the blame game and start concentrating on the loving now and knowledge that we will do what is best for our children as time and diagnoses meet us in the road we travel.

THIS is not a child that is bothered by the lump in his leg

And I will not let him know that every little boo-boo makes me want to hold him tight, keep him safe from harm and never let him go.

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