Whoever said parenthood was easy, was never a parent

January 29, 2012

baby pictureNoone says this, right? I mean, they can’t. Or at least, I can’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my boys more than anything. They are amazing and I adore being their mom. Honestly, I’m happy to take care of their needs, but it does get frustrating. Sometimes you just feel like you are failing at parenting (I said this on Facebook and many friends rallied to my side. You guys are the best and yes, I do know it isn’t really true)

I’m a great and mostly patient parent. Just not when they’re sleeping.. or should I say, when they’re NOT sleeping. You see my children? They don’t sleep. My oldest? only started sleeping through the night when he was 4 years old. Even now he still wakes about once a week. And the baby? He’s up every 2 hours. Sometimes more. Naps range from 20 minutes to 2 hours (rare) but mostly they are 30-60 minutes 2-3 times a day. Frankly, he just resists sleep.

Oh I’m not at this point yet, and hope I never will be. But believe me, it takes a toll on you.

I’m not looking for advice about how to get him to sleep. We’ve tried many of your tried and true techniques. We’ve seen the doctor and have tried his advice as well. We’re still not sleeping. Luckily, I have an equal parenting partner in my husband, so we are able to trade off, but what we’d really like is for our baby to sleep.

What I am talking about is the fact that parenting is hard. The rewards are great and I’ll look back at this time and say “oh man… remember when the baby didn’t sleep?? Good times.” and we’ll have a little laugh. I know that this too shall pass. But that doesn’t make it less hard right now.

Sleep has been “that thing” for us. For some other people I know, its eating. Lets not hide the hard things.. because even though we should leave the advice giving to the experts, we can at least get some sympathy and some help. Someone to take the baby for a few hours for a nap or when parents just need a break. Open yourself up for some help and it might be there, instead of pretending everything is sunshine and roses, let the world know that sometimes a little shit is part of growing.

What was “that thing” for you?

And really.. does everyone, like me, always end up reading the archives of Ask Moxie?


  1. Amen, Mama. There’s always something, but I have to say, kids not sleeping is one of the worst, because it’s so hard to deal with everything else when you’re so damn tired. For us, it’s the girls constantly being sick… they’re generally healthy kids (knock on wood), but we constantly have colds and weird kiddo viruses and that sort of thing…
    Anyway, I hope your kiddos sleep soon. More likely, I hope you survive until they’re old enough to leave you alone when they wake up in the middle of the night!

  2. I am so fortunate that I have a two month old with good sleeping habits.. She sleeps up to 7 hours straight some nights! “That thing” for me right now would have to be breastfeeding… It feels like I am constantly feeding her and it’s the one thing that I can’t pass off to my boyfriend.

  3. Sleep is definitely a tough one. Nothing else is easy if you’re tired. For us, I would have to say it’s our son’s incredible intensity and desire to plan and control everything. It’s incessant and exhausting. I tell myself that this could be channeled into a passion for something, so it will be good in the end, right? RIGHT? Thankfully, our daughter seems more mellow…so far.

    I love how our sons get along; if my son is ever too A-type about organizing minutia, your son just looks at him and laughs. So cool.:)

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